So obviously the first thing that comes to mind is stripping. So then I thought, “What can I write about - stripping paint?” Not a whole lot, since I don’t really like it. It’s messy, tedious, and it never turns out the way you want. Then I had a brilliant idea: why not write about things you can do while being naked. Of course most people won’t do these things in the nude, it can be fun to think about…or maybe not.

Anyway, here are some things to make your life a little easier. Just odds and ends I’ve picked up while living in a house.

1. Garbage disposal – If you don’t have one, go get one. Otherwise you can’t use my first tip. If you have a smelly garbage disposal, or you just use it a whole lot while peeling those carrots and potatoes, it’s a good idea to give it a little cleaning. One of the best ways to clean it out is to put some ice cubes through it. The ice is hard enough to do a little scraping action on its way down the drain. Don’t worry about the horrendous sound the disposal makes when putting ice through it; you won’t break it. And if the ice gets stuck somewhere, you don’t have to worry about it clogging because it’ll melt. Ingenious!!!

2. Tile floors – Are your tile floors sticky after you wash them? Mine are, but only when my roommate doesn’t use my secret tip. Rather than using soap and water, just use very hot water and a little bit of white vinegar. I never wash my floors with soap because it always leaves a residue. Now the next part of this, I don’t expect you to do, especially when naked, but it makes for a cleaner floor. Do it on your hands and knees. Washing the floor that is! Get your mind out of the gutter. I found that using a rag and being closer to the floor, makes you notice more dirt and hard-to-remove spots. By taking a little extra time to get the spots, it makes your floor look a whole lot better.

3. Annual Cleaning – About once or twice a year, take a Saturday morning to do the cleaning that you usually don’t do. It’ll make a big difference around the house. Wash the walls, for example. Use a bucket of hot soapy water, Lysol or Mr. Clean or the like, and wipe down the fingerprints on the walls, kitchen cabinets and the spot below the window where that stupid cat puts his hind legs to get up on the window sill. Don’t forget about the light switches, clean them too. Dust the fans too.

4. Washing the screens – If you have a screened in back porch or pool enclosure, you will be amazed at how dirty the screens can get. It’s obviously a good idea to wash them every once in a while. Using a soft bristle brush, probably one with a long handle (available at Home Depot or True-Value), scrub the screens with the brush and some soapy water and use a water hose to rinse them off. It’s probably a good idea to move any furniture away from the screens, because you’ll have to wash both inside and outside screens. But BE CAREFUL, don’t press too hard or you’ll tear a hole in the screen. Remember, soft, gentle scrubbing. And be aware of your neighbors if you decide to do this in the nude; they might not want to see!

5. I’m trying to think of a fifth one, but I can’t. So I’m just going to end it here. I hope some of these tips help. See how free and natural you feel when you do these naked? Isn’t it great?? I’ve never really done any of this naked…but then again, I never really thought about it either.