Dear Walter,

My friend is dating this guy. She basically tells this kid to drop dead every time they talk. When we are out she’ll be like “stop calling me I’m with my friends” or she’ll say, in front of all of us mind you, “Sometimes I am not attracted to you”. That kind of stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. She also tells us she doesn’t even like him. I feel bad for the kid because he’s a nice kid, but you can tell he has no experience in dating. Both of them don’t have people knocking down their doors also. I think she is just with him because she can’t get anyone else. I think he has no idea what he’s doing. He probably thinks this is how relationships are. Behind closed doors, she probably blows his head up, but in front of us she rips him apart. Is it wrong if I say to him to find someone else? Before you say anything, no I do not like him. I do however think he’s nice and doesn’t deserve any of this. She is my friend, but I feel it’s my duty as a person to tell him to stand up for himself.

-“Rose”

Maybe his inexperience is a contributing factor in the relationship, but you never know, he also could be hanging around her because he can’t find anyone else. The price to pay is to put up with her insults in front of the girls. Maybe behind closed doors, she does talk him up and say nice things. We’ll never know. But what we do know is the question you asked. You shouldn’t say a word. This is why. He is not oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend rips him in public. Obviously he’s accepted it, so telling him anything bad about her is going to sound redundant. He’ll probably say, “she just acts like that in front of you girls.” Also, if he tells his girlfriend the things you’ve been telling him, you might have a bigger problem on your hands. I know you feel like helping him out would be the right thing to do, and it is, but sometimes people need to find out for themselves. I don’t blame you for wanting to help him out, but that old adage “learn it the hard way” is sometimes the best for a person.