Money- Yeah...better count me out...again.

The other day I was asked by a few teacher friends to accompany them to a play being put on by a local high school. Although there is nothing more which I would rather do on a Saturday night than see Oklahoma...I had to refrain due to my chronic lack of funds. Yes, another month is half over and I am scrapping pennies from the bottom of my couch (so to say) to get myself the 40 miles to work each day. Like many other 20 something's I know, being paid for one's hard work is just not cutting it anymore. Maybe it's the career I chose? Maybe it is the once-a-month paycheck which deems me hopelessly poverty-stricken come mid-month? Or maybe it is just the fact that as soon as a paycheck comes in, I jump for joy and scoot to the mall for things that I have been drooling over since the middle of the last month. All I know is that this working for a living bullshit is starting to become a real downer.

Getting my thoughts out on paper, I realize what the problem has been all along. I crave so many things mid-month that I immediately spend every cent that I can in the beginning of the month, leaving myself miserable the rest of the month. So I say, to myself and anyone else who is listening, SLOW DOWN. The beginning of the month should bring a treat, I agree. I work too damn hard and endure too much damn stress from certain co-workers not to get a little something pretty. Going overboard is where energy and focus need to lay. Picking one or two things (excluding bank-breaking items such as a Louis V. clutch) and being content knowing that hard work deserves reward.

By being conscious of what is spent in that flurry of PAYDAY, you could be dodging a serious cash-flow problem mid-month. As to those who get paid every two weeks or even better, every week, I say "Lucky You", as I slowly raise my middle finger.

Sex- Yeah, This One Time at Band Camp…

Summer is upon us. The birds are singing, the flowers blooming and hormones are raging. Before you hear that familiar Trojan horse, running through the bedroom at full force....STOP. Step outside and enjoy nature's splendor with your sweetheart. For your enjoyment, I rounded up a group of girls and complied a list of the ten best places to GET IT ON outside!

1. On the swing set. If you can handle the back and forth, you are set.
2. Any form of water. Whether it be the hot tub, pool or lake, you will have a great time!
3. Hood of a car. Just make sure that you are in a secluded place, there is nothing worse than paying a nudie-ticket.
4. Beach. Again, seclusion is key, unless you are into that.
5. Camping. Kicks ass, enough said.
6. On a boat. Wouldn't know a thing about this one, but I heard it's great.
7. A moving jet ski. I actually had a roommate once that did this, a little scary but they pulled it off.
8. Walk in the woods. Remember to bring a blanket, or pay the next day.
9. In the truck bed. Hmmm, maybe not.
10. In a tree house. Could be very interesting and sure to loads of fun.

Inconvenience: A Bad Episode of Friends.

Imagine waking up on a Sunday morning, early so that you can get to the washer and dryer first, only to witness the grunts and howling of icky sex through a partially open door. Vomit and vomit again. This was my existence for an entire year. I moved to Georgia with two male acquaintances, only knowing bits and pieces of personality but understanding full well that I don't get along with girl roommates. Things were great at first, until the first girlfriend moved in and TOOK OVER. Our once chill house was filled with a constant high-pitched whine that would usually result in a fight. Possessions were used and abused, yet no consciousness felt even a hint of guilt. A "child" (a damn, annoying rabbit) was soon purchased to solidify the love between the two and was frequently set loose to piss and shit throughout our small apartment. I moved the girl out TWICE and listened to her complain for hours about not getting employee of the month. What really blows? I continued to let it happen, therefore I was partly to blame.

Roommates can be the best thing or could suck worse than only getting a paycheck once a month. What I never did, but would in the future, is set boundaries early. If you bring squatters in, they best be paying for all the shit they use and eat. I cannot tell you how many times my ice cream went missing, and yet I was cleaning the dishes used to EAT IT WITH. Set a schedule of cleaning duties and a timeframe to get it done. If it does not get done or you get attitude, sell or break something of theirs. No really though, there need to be limits and lines that do not get crossed or it will be a very unpleasant situation for everyone involved. Communication with your co-habitaters is also very important. If something is not right, or you feel that you have been treated unfairly, speak up and tell the person. Being a martyr and taking it is going to cause a ton of pent-up grief that could lead to other serious shit. Just ask my therapist...