1. Fight the Urge

You can begin by not fighting back! Fighting the temptation to bicker, point fingers, or even smack someone in the face can be difficult if you’re perturbed enough, but holding back will make you the true winner. My mother’s knack to annoy me is often overwhelming, but even I have learned to maintain resistance. Rather than hanging the phone up in a rage, I now keep my cool, call it a night, and bookmark the conversation for another day. This way an epic argument is avoided and everyone’s beaming. Viva la resistance!

2. Pay Attention to Details

If we were all professional “Miss Cleo’s,” thousands of rivalries worldwide could be avoided. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t Jamaican mind readers - we’re only human. But conflicts can still be prevented as long as we pay attention to the details.

At a concert last weekend, for example, I wasn’t in the brightest of moods. Rather than reading into the serious expression of my face, the monotonous tone of my voice, or the stern look in my eyes, however, my boyfriend saw right past the details and continued to mingle with other folk for the remainder of the night. And so the lonely girlfriend began brewing conflict! The night of solitude and bruised feelings triggered a minor dispute on the way home; a dispute that could have been avoided altogether with a tiny dose of consideration or a mere “what’s wrong, sweetie?”

3. Seek Friendly Advice

Once the dreaded storm has struck, there’s no better way to calm it than by chatting with a trusted friend. Like a frosty bowl of ice cream or a warm cup of chamomile tea, friends can be therapeutic to broken hearts and muddled minds. Fresh advice from a new perspective will instill you with the knowledge and courage needed to tackle the tussle, once and for all.

4. Problem Solve in Your Own Mind

Don’t have anyone to talk to? No worries. Solving your problem solo can prove to be just as effective, but remember to keep an open mind. Once you’ve cleansed your mind, the following steps should set you in the right direction:

1. First, devise a clear description of the problem.
2. Now make a list or brainstorm possible solutions, considering the consequences/benefits of each drafted solution.
3. Finally, rank each solution! Will cleaning the kitchen result in a 50% success rate, or 75%? You decide.
   

5. Communicate with Your Partner

Lastly, communicating when the time is right will assure a properly handled crisis. Go somewhere quiet and be prepared to do some serious talking! Here are some tips that should ease the awkward reunion:

• Avoid blaming.
• Be assertive, not aggressive.
• Speak calmly, coolly, and rationally.
• Be willing to apologize or admit a mistake.
• Compromise…don’t quarrel!

Remember: No matter how often you find yourself caught in conflict, there’s always a solution – no matter how minor or major the argument. Whether you’re fighting over an inconsiderate remark, your partner’s tendency to scope out other females, or even a mere TV channel, compromise is the key. So save your breath for more important things (like talking!) and move on with life. It’s far too short to be spent in disharmony.

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