Ok, I admit it, I’m a ‘Hormo’. I can’t go anywhere without hiding this hidden element of my personality. Each time I open a door, people look at me like I’m crazy. And the more I walk around, the more build up occurs. Well guess what? You may be a “Hormo” too. A Hormephobic that is. And we are not talking about your gender identity here. Hormeophobia is a fear of shock. If you share this fear along with millions of other “closet Hormeophobics”, your torment will only get worse during this cold season. I feel your pain.

According to Kidshealth.org, this happens because “the air is usually drier, and it’s easier to build up electrons on the skin’s surface”. So that means, as the temp drops, the probability of getting shocked more than 37 times daily, increases. Since you don’t want to look like a ‘puss’ every single time you flinch at a door handle, I’ve made your life easier by finding ways to avoid the shock treatment. Sorry, Dr. Phil didn’t answer his calls, so I had to surf the net.

Warning: Just about every site says not to worry about static electricity as a personal hazard. But watch out, this is a cover-up conspiracy! Millions of people witnessed the Zephlin German Blimp catch on fire like a small Iraqi village. However, the great blimp never encountered even one deadly cluster bomb. Static did it! So be scared, like me. According to one source, “it is quite common to experience 5,000 volts” and “in severe conditions, 15,000 volts” (www.static-sol.com). DiZZZZZZ...just kidding.

How to not get zzzzapt: You could wear Fire Marshall Bill boots and look like a dumb ass, but there are other effective alternatives. First, don’t directly touch the door knob, if you do, you become a conductor for the existing electro charge that is present on the door. Instead, touch the ‘hot’ door with your key first. This will discharge the door and, well…you won’t get shocked. If the door has glass on it, first make sure the window-washer-person can’t see you, and then touch the glass first. Touching the glass will basically do the same thing the key-trick does, i.e. prevent you from empathizing with Ted Bundy.

Deal with the fear: Sorry, I have no idea. If I knew, then I wouldn’t be so damn scared.

• Static electricity happens more often during the colder seasons because the air is usually drier, and it's easier to build up electrons on the skin's surface. http://kidshealth.org/kid/talk/qa/electric_shock.html
• Copyright © 2000 http://www.static-sol.com/articles/static_shocks.htm#How%20can%20I%20stop%20static%20shocks?
• Shock- Hormephobia. http://www.phobialist.com/reverse.html#E-
email to: fredd@phobialist.com
http://www.phobialist.com/reverse.html
Created: Monday, July 17, 1995
© 1995-2003 Fredd Culbertson

Chris Bolender

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