Dear Walter,

For Valentine’s Day my boyfriend bought me red roses, box of chocolates and took me out to a nice restaurant. It was a nice evening. Now I know that he didn’t have to do anything for me, but he did and I’m grateful. But I also am not grateful. Everything he did was sweet, but it was so been there done that. I feel stupid for even writing this because some girls don’t even have a boyfriend that would even do things like that for them. And I do. He just does everything that he is supposed to. You understand? He doesn’t go the extra mile, he doesn’t do anything unique. It’s like getting the perfect boyfriend and finding out he’s not perfect for you. Trust me if I was you and I was reading this I would be thinking I’m an ungrateful b*tch. But I’m really not. I am really a good person. I just want something exciting. I don’t want to be able to predict where my relationship is going. I don’t want to know that every Valentines Day I’m going to get red roses and chocolates. I have been feeling this way for a while. I just want to know if you think I should address this situation and go elsewhere or should I be happy and grateful for the man I have? He is a great guy, I just think he is a little too un-romantic for me.

Karyn – Palo Alto, CA.

Karyn,

You have every right to feel the way you do. I once dated a girl that on paper seemed to be the perfect match for me, but when we got together there was no spark. I don’t think you are a bad person. He probably is a great guy, but maybe he isn’t for you. Some women love the fact they can predict their lovers’ next move. It gives them a sense of security and comfort. Obviously I don’t know you, but from reading your letter it seems you like someone that isn’t so traditional. You like someone you can’t predict, who will do something crazy at any time. There’s nothing wrong with that. I have weighed your question in and this is my opinion. You and I both know you can’t tell him to be more romantic because you either got it or you don’t. If you want to try it, go ahead, but most likely he’ll try too much and end up embarrassing himself. So I wouldn’t do that. Most likely this type of humdrum life between the two of you will continue if you don’t say anything, so I say go elsewhere. You should also be grateful. He did nice things for you that other guys may not have done. You can acknowledge what a good person he was and stay friends with him. This happens everyday all over the world. It’s when two people get together and realize they are better friends then lovers. He needs someone that enjoys his expected actions. You need someone to keep you on your toes.